I mentioned earlier that this has been an eventful year. Unfortunately, eventful has also meant stressful and we - Jim and I - are both experiencing a really bad year. We've had things happen that affect both of us, and it's easily the hardest year we've had in the 30-plus years we've been married.
It's not just the sale of our house and the move to a different kind of house in a totally different kind of neighbourhood (although the move is a whole story in itself - let's just say we chose poorly when we chose our mover); it goes way beyond that. It's about potential job loss - twice. It's about health scares. And mostly it's about health scares becoming reality.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the same day our house deal went through. On a day when I should have been happy, I was in tears because I'd just read a report that said I had breast cancer. Somehow, a step got missed and instead of my doctor telling me I had cancer, I received a phone call from my doctor's office that I had an appointment with a surgeon the next day, and would I please pick up the CD with all the test results and take it with me. It was in the packet with the CD that I found the report that said I had cancer.
That was back in May, and since then I've had surgery and have started treatment. Boy, have I learned a lot in the few months since I was diagnosed. And what I've learned is mostly what I'll be talking about in subsequent posts.
But it won't all be about the cancer and treatment, though - it can never be all about the cancer. My life cannot be all about cancer, although right now it takes up a lot of my time and energy. One of the things I have learned is that having cancer is, at times, almost a full time job - there's not much room for anything else. But I have to make room for other things and think about other things because another thing I've learned is that once I start thinking about cancer too much, the fear takes over and cancer is all I think about. I can't let that happen.
So here begins the conversation I never thought I would have.
