Miscellaneous

Purple Paws
It's mulberry time and that means purple pawprints throughout the house. 

Our neighbour has a mulberry tree that overhangs our garden shed, and there is always a bountiful crop of mulberries on those branches.  When the berries drop, they provide a feast for our dog, who walks and eats his way through the juicy berries on the ground.  Purple lips and purple paws are the order of the day.  Even though we give his paws a thorough wipe when he comes in, there is always some residue that remains and becomes obvious after he takes a few steps. 

I keep saying I'm going to cut back the overhanging branches before the berries appear each year, but each year I forget until the berries begin to drop, and then it's too late.  I've already made myself a mental note for next year.

Signs of middle age
I was looking for a new crossword puzzle book in the magazine section of our local grocery store.  There weren't many there; it appears that sudoku has taken over as the favourite puzzle.  When I located the only two crossword books on display, I was horrified that they were both large print, and the fact they were in large print was emblazoned across the front cover.  I take it the crossword-solving people are aging and this is supposed to be a selling feature - presumably I wouldn't be straining my eyes or needing my reading glasses to work on these puzzles.

I picked up the two books and tried not to feel like the middle-aged woman I am.  Not only am I old-fashioned enough to be doing crosswords instead of sudoku, but I need all the help I can get to read the clues.  Thanks a lot. 

Road Rage

One evening this last week, while driving home, I was cut off by a truck.  I was tired, I was in a hurry and I spent a good few minutes plotting how I was going to make the driver know what a jerk he'd been.  And then I took a deep breath. 

I have been trying very hard in the last few years to take a minute, before I react to something that makes me angry, to ask myself a question:  in the whole scheme of my life, from the time I was a baby til the time I die, how important is this incident?  Will it change my life?  Will it affect my well-being or that of anyone else?  If the answer is "no" - as it was in this particular incident - I have learned to let it go.  For the most part.  I'm no saint, and there are times I don't get around to taking that moment to ask the question before I let fly with an angry response.

The whole idea behind taking that moment is to let me decide how I want to spend my time and energy.  Yes, the guy who cut me off was a jerk, but that's his problem, not mine. It would have been my problem if he'd caused an accident, but he didn't.  He wasn't weaving in an out and endangering other people so he wasn't anyone else's problem either.  He was just a jerk.  Why waste my time even thinking about it?  There are so many others things that are more worthy of my time, my energy and my emotional involvement that I'd rather invest in those. 

The problem with no problem

Question:

When you thank someone for something they've done for you, would you rather hear a response of:
a)  No problem.
b)  No worries.
c)  You're welcome.

I've been hearing a lot of a) no problem lately. Does anyone else have a problem with "no problem"? 

What exactly does that mean?  To me, it says that "it was no problem for me to do what you asked", which leads me to wonder what the response would have been if it *had* been a problem to do what I asked.  If it was a problem, would they have declined to help me?  If it was a problem, would they have let me know that I inconvenienced them?   "No problem" is all about the person who did the good deed and leaves the thanker feeling lucky they received help at all.

b) no worries ... how did that creep into North American usage?  It's a distinctly Australian phrase that sounds strange coming out of the mouths of over-wound North Americans.  Still, it is a better response to a thank you than "no problem"; it says don't worry about it, don't give it another thought.  Still not the greatest response, but better than "you haven't put me out" that "no problem" conveys.

Then there's c) you're welcome.  Now, isn't that a nice response?  It says "I was happy to help you out; you are welcome to my time and efforts.  It was my pleasure to perform that service for you."   It doesn't say anything about the peson who did the favour; it is simply a gracious acknowledgement of a heart-felt thanks.

Obviously, I prefer a nice "you're welcome" ... it is the most gracious response.  I like to hear it when I say thank you to someone, and I like to say it when someone thanks me.  I have a warmer feeling for the person who tells me I'm welcome than for the person who offers that it was no problem to help me. 

Am I being too picky about this?  Should I just be grateful to receive whatever help I've asked for, or a gift I've been given, and assume that the giver of the help or gift was happy to do it, regardless of the words they use? 

A little w(h)ine ...

I like a glass of red wine.  There may be a case to be made that I like a glass of wine just a little too much, as that glass has become a daily glass of wine and it doesn’t always remain just one glass.  My defense is that I subscribe to the Mediterranean diet for heart health, which suggests that red wine and olive oil are the secrets to a healthy heart.  I may be paraphrasing just a bit and over-emphasizing the value of the wine, but it’s my excuse and I like it.

In our house, we have set a price point of $10 for a bottle of wine and we can buy some surprisingly good wines for less than that.  (I won’t say that these are great wines or fine wine – they are very good house wines that we enjoy.)  There is terrific value in some Chilean, French, Italian and South African wines.  We can occasionally find something in that price range from the States and, less frequently, from Australia.  What is much harder to find is a Canadian wine under $10.

It’s a shame.  I live reasonably close to the Niagara wine region and it’s a fun afternoon to go and taste the wines from our local vineyards.  There are a few wines we like, but they are almost all priced at $12 and up.  That doesn’t seem like a big enough difference to avoid buying them, but when we compare that $12 or $13 or $17 bottle from Niagara against a similarly-priced - or even an under-$10 - bottle from Europe, there really is no comparison – the cheaper wines are the ones we prefer.

Now, you might be thinking that we just don’t appreciate a good wine or know what a fine wine should taste like.  I would have to disagree.  While I will never claim to be a wine connoisseur and I have not studied wine, we have friends who are oenophiles and because of them I have tasted some pretty fine wines.  I do know how fine a wine can be. 

I wish I knew if Canadian wines are priced as they are because it’s the cost of production and building the industry, or if they are comparing themselves against some of their pricier competition from elsewhere (and not comparing well, in my opinion) or wineries are trying to establish themselves as producers of an upper-scale product.  Whatever the reason, it’s hard for us to justify the extra money.  I will confess that there are some Canadian wines for which we’ll splash out $17 or $18 a bottle – we really do like them - but we wonder afterward if it was the best value for our money.  Probably not, but those particular wines have something we haven’t found in any other wine we’ve tried.  For that reason, it’s worth it those few times we indulge.

I would like to be more supportive of the Canadian wine industry, but right now, it just doesn’t make a lot of cents … er, sense.

Veggie Burgers

I love a good veggie burger.  For me, a good veggie burger isn’t one that is pretending to be a beef burger; it is proudly not meat and doesn’t try to taste like meat.  Instead, it will taste of beans or rice and seasonings and maybe even some veggies.   

There used to be a restaurant in Winnipeg that had a great veggie burger, and when I lived there I’d make sure I went periodically to enjoy one.  Alas, the restaurant is gone and so am I, so that’s no longer an option. 

I’ve been looking for a good recipe for awhile now so I can make my own, and I finally found two – count ‘em, two! – one online and one in a grilling magazine.  I am thrilled.  I tried the recipe from the magazine last night and it was everything I look for in a veggie burger – very slightly dry, lots of wonderful seasonings, beans, and a certain something I can’t put my finger on.  It reminded me slightly of falafel (that must have been the cumin and garlic) without making me think I was eating falafel. 

For anyone who is picky about their veggie burgers and is looking for a good recipe, I offer the following.  It is taken from Better Homes and Gardens Special Interest Publications Grilling, Spring, 2009.  I have left out an accompaniment for the burgers because I didn’t try it.

Cracked Wheat Burgers

1 cup chopped onion

2 tbsp. olive oil

3/4 cup cracked wheat

3/4 cup water

2 tbsp. soy sauce

1 cup drained and rinsed canned pinto beans

3/4 cup walnuts, toasted

1/2 cup tightly packed cilantro sprigs

3 cloves garlic

 1 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. cayenne

1/2 cup soft (fresh) whole wheat breadcrumbs

In a medium sauce, sauté 1/2 cup onions in olive oil for about 5 minutes, or until tender.  Stir in cracked wheat and water; bring mixture to a boil, reduce and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes or til water is absorbed.  Transfer to medium bowl. Stir in soy sauce.

In food processer, combine beans, walnuts, remaining onion, cilantro, garlic, cumin and cayenne.  Process until mixture is combined and pastelike.  Stir walnut mixture into wheat mixture and add breadcrumbs.  Stir well til combined.

Shape into 6 patties; cover and chill for 1 ½ hours.

Brush patties with a bit of olive oil; grill over medium heat about 4 minutes per side.  Serve on thin burger buns.

While I was making these burgers, I learned two important things:

1.  When you are cooking the cracked wheat in that little amount of water, the wheat absorbs the water really, really quickly and it all sticks to the bottom of the pot.  When that happens, it’s really, really hard to clean the pot.

2.  When toasting walnuts in a pan on the stove and a walnut jumps out of the pan when you are stirring, don’t pop it into your mouth … nuts hold heat very well. 

Next week I’m going to try the mushroom burgers (which are more than just portabello caps.  If memory serves, they have mushrooms, chickpeas and …. Well, there goes the memory) and if they live up to my expectations, I’ll pass that recipe along as well.

Girlfriends

Aren’t girlfriends great?  The older I get, the more important my girlfriends are to me.  They are my sisters, my confidantes, my playmates and are way up there on the list of life’s greatest blessings.

Let’s be clear here.  I’m not talking about girlfriends in any romantic or sexual way.  I’m talking about the women with whom I have a bond that goes beyond just friendship.

Girlfriends do for me what no one else can – they cheer me, support me, chide me when I need it, listen with their hearts and love me.  They encourage me to dream and reach for those dreams.  They challenge me and make me think about what I am saying and doing.  They give me a different point of view and make me look at my own values and ideas.  Best of all, they accept me for who I am. 

Girlfriends are the women with whom I laugh hysterically over some small, remembered mutual mishap, and cry with over some hurt or even just a silly, touching moment.  They are the women for whom my heart aches when they hurt and with whom I celebrate when something great happens to or for them.

Not surprisingly, my girlfriends are all woman I have known for a long time.  They come from different times and stages in my life.  Unfortunately, I don’t live close to many of them anymore; the closest is a two-and-a-half hour drive away and the furthest … well, I don’t expect to see her anytime soon because she lives on a different continent. 

One of the wonderful things about these kinds of relationships is that they survive almost anything – neglect, interruption, distance.  Distance has become easier to deal with because of the ease of communicating by email, cheap telephone rates and the relative affordability of travel (especially when you can use airline rewards!).  Neglect and interruption are higher barriers to overcome, but I have proof that they aren’t insurmountable – I wouldn’t have the girlfriends I have now without having climbed those hurdles.  And maybe they just serve to make the relationship stronger.

What is it that creates the kind of bond that we feel with only some of the women in our lives?  I have friends I’m happy to meet with and talk with, but it’s not the same as the enjoyment I get from spending time with girlfriends.  What‘s the difference?  Shared experiences?  Time and place?  Something in our personalities that just click?  It’s hard to put a finger on just what it is and when I think of each of my girlfriends, it’s different for each one. 

My life is richer for having such wonderful girlfriends.  I hope everyone can say the same.