Before I get to the substance of what I want to say, I will fess up that I watch some pretty cheesy TV shows. I religiously tune in to The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars and sometimes Idol. I like competition shows like Hell’s Kitchen, America’s Next Top Model and Battle of the Blades. I like “reality” shows like House Hunters and Location, Location, Location (which has the added attraction that it’s British – I’m a bit of an Anglophile) or other shows that have to do with house buying.
I don’t watch most of these shows all the time – I make a point of taping a few of them and watching weekly, but for the most part I’ll watch if I run across them when I’m flipping through channels or have some time I want to waste.
So, then, now I’ve got my little confession out of the way – over the last two evenings, I have tuned in to what must be the bottom of the barrel of what’s offered on TV. It will come as a surprise to no one that they are both on TLC, the network that seems to have a policy of pandering to the basest instincts in humanity. The shows? Toddlers and Tiaras and Hoarders.
What is there about the train wrecks of other people’s lives that we find so fascinating? I watched at first because I was curious and then I continued watching because I was fascinated with what I saw, and not fascinated in a positive way.
The first – Toddlers and Tiaras – follows the lives of, you guessed it, children in beauty pageants and the parents that push them there. What I saw was appalling – one young girl, maybe 6 years old, saying that losing makes her feel really, really, really bad about herself. A mother who says that her daughter doesn’t have many friends because the other little girls are jealous of her beauty (you have to have seen the little girl in question to realize how ludicrous the statement was). A mother who kept saying, ad nauseum, that her little boy liked dolls, sparkly things, dancing and participating in pageants and that was just fine with her and her husband (over-compensation, anyone?).
This show is wrong on so many levels. Why are these children being told that how well they do depends on how they look or dress? They aren’t being judged for themselves but for how they look with makeup and styled hair (and it’s *big* hair) and skimpy costumes. Inflated but fragile egos are pitted against other inflated but fragile egos, and more come out losers than winners.
And the parents … well, I’m almost speechless. (Almost, but not quite.) They feed those little egos and take proud parenthood to a whole new level. Yes, we all think our children are the cutest/prettiest/most talented/most worthy, but pageant parents take it further. They convince their children that because they are pretty or cute or talented they are better than others with those same traits, and if they just dress up like little adults and pout and strut they will be deemed to be the best and win a prize.
Are these mothers beauty queen wannabes? Failed pageant contestants? Faded pageant contestants? What makes them even start their children on this road? It’s expensive, time-consuming and gives their children an unhealthy preoccupation with themselves. It’s just … it’s just … so wrong.
I’ve read the pageant coordinators’ views that pageants and competition are healthy and help boost children’s self esteem and self confidence, but what I saw on Toddlers and Tiaras suggested just the opposite. I didn’t see any honestly-come-by self esteem in any of them – it was all based on others’ judgement of them.
I am not so naïve that I don’t recognize that this show is edited to show the worst or most controversial moments in these children’s lives. That only serves, however, to make me wonder more about why the parents are even letting their children be filmed at all.
As for Hoarders … well, the hoarders I saw were just sad people who need help, and where is the entertainment in that? Yes, we are appalled at the filth and worse-than-clutter that surround these people in their homes, but they deserve better than cameras filming their every misstep, outburst or feeling that we cannot understand. Please … just get them help and leave them alone.
Will I watch these shows again? Not likely. I was surprised that I watched at all. Next time I have time on my hands and want to sit in front of the TV, I’ll tune in to the Food Network or property hunting shows on HGTV … those are shows I can enjoy.
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