... and in with the new (year)

That's it.  Christmas is over and it is the last day of 2011.  Tomorrow the tree comes down, the decorations are put away and we return to our normal household rhythm. 

If only you could hear my heavy sigh.  I'm not quite ready to move on yet.  I haven't had my fill of the tree and its lights and ornaments.  I haven't had my fill of the dark red of the poinsettias mixed in with the bright green of the other plants that crowd my dining room and living room.  I haven't had my fill of Christmas music, even though the new CDs we each received for Christmas have now found their places in the CD changer.  And I haven't had relaxing days lounging around the house, nibbling chocolates and nuts and reading the new books I received for Christmas.  I'm not ready to move on.  I want more Christmas!

But Christmas is done and tomorrow is the first day of the new year.  I generally don't get terribly nostalgic about the year that's just passed or even all that hopeful for the year ahead.  January 1 is just another day on the calendar.   Tonight we willl have a quiet evening at home; Jim and I will probably head for bed well before before midnight and our son will make his way over to a friend's house for a party.  He's quite pleased that he will be able to get in on our traditional family new years eve and still get to party with his friends.  It's nice when you can have it all.  And then tomorrow we will enjoy our traditional breakfast and I will have to get ready to go to work on Monday.

While new years no longer holds a great deal of importance for me, there is something - a feeling, a buzz, a sense of anticipation - that has been teasing me for the last few days.  I can't quite grasp what it is, but I feel like I've been getting a glimpse of something great that could be just around the corner.  Could be around the corner.  But I don't know what I have to do - if anything - to get there and find what it is.  I have the sense that something has to change for me to find whatever it is, but what has to change and how it has to change are mysteries to me. 

I find it interesting that I'm getting this feeling just at the end of the year.  It makes me think, for the first time in a long time, that perhaps there is something special about the passing of the old year and the entry into the new.  Maybe there's something to the ideas about new beginnings and a clean slate.  Maybe a new year is more than just a date on a calendar.

Or maybe it's just hormones.

Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to the new year with more enthusiasm than usual.   Who knows what's just around the corner?

Best wishes to you all for the new year.