What was that walking down the road?

The wildlife in our urban community is getting wilder all the time.  In addition to the usual squirrels, rabbits, skunks, raccoons and occasional opossum, we also have foxes and, now, a coyote.  At least, I think it’s a single coyote.  I have read and been told that they usually travel in packs and if you see one, it’s the scout for the pack.  I don’t find that a particularly comforting fact, so I’m pretending it’s a single coyote – a one-off, an urban loner.

I don’t know quite what to think about this addition to our community.  I have seen him (I’ve nicknamed him Ralph) enough times to know that he hangs around often.  I have been told that coyotes are shy; they will go out of their way to avoid contact with humans.  Ralph doesn’t seem particularly shy – he walks down the middle of the road, moving onto the sidewalk if a car approaches, then back to the middle of the road.  The last time I saw him was just this past weekend; he was walking across front lawns, seemingly in search of something, and I was walking along the sidewalk in front of those same houses.  I don’t know if he noticed me or not – he was intent on something other than me.

I am not the only one who’s seen Ralph.  He has followed a friend when she was walking her dog – never approaching too closely, but keeping pace with them until my friend turned to face him and gestured and yelled until Ralph ran away.  Then there’s the acquaintance who will no longer walk past my yard in the dark because she saw Ralph lurking behind a large tree in our side yard, silently watching as she and her dog passed by.  We have checked and there’s no evidence that Ralph has taken up residence behind our tree; more likely it’s just a resting spot or a safe place to settle in to watch what’s going on.

There is no reason to be afraid of Ralph, from all accounts, except that I have an old dog.  If Ralph is, indeed, watching and looking for easy prey, my old dog is going to fit nicely into his dinner plans.  We are out at the same time Ralph would be out – just before or around dawn and just around sunset.  It used to be that I‘d be watching for skunks but they are now the least of my wildlife worries - I’ve switched to watching for signs of a lurking coyote.

I’m not used to being nervous about walking in my neighbourhood.  I used to feel safe walking at any time of the day or night.  Now, even if I am walking alone, I feel a little apprehensive as Ralph is a real wild card in my very urban environment.

There was a news story a few years ago about a coyote in another area close to us.  The gist of the story was that nothing could be done about it – no one is allowed to catch and relocate wildlife (which annoyed me at the time because we were trying to evict a family of skunks from under our shed), so the only option was to shoot it if it seemed threatening.  At that time, I was rooting for the coyote.  I’m a bit of a bleeding heart, don’t-hurt-the-animal type, and I prayed they wouldn’t shoot the animal.  Now there’s a coyote in our neighbourhood, and while I don’t want anyone to harm him, I really feel that Ralph has to go.  This really is a case of NIMBY - I literally don’t want a coyote in my back yard.

Poor Ralph.  I hope he finds our neighbourhood to be a poor hunting ground and heads back out to the country where he belongs. 

A Luddite's Lament - Part 2

Pretty soon I’m going to have to turn in my Luddite credentials … I am starting to use technology I previously shunned and mocked.  How could it have come to this?

Where to begin.  I guess I have to start with the new TV that will be coming into the house in the next few days.  It’s not huge, but it qualifies as a big screen TV.  I still say no one needs a big screen TV and heaven knows I wouldn’t have gone out to look for one, but this one essentially fell into our laps; what could we do?  We’ve been running around looking for furniture to accommodate the beast.  And what is a new TV without new speakers?  I will confess that our previous speakers were 30 years old and it was time to replace them.  Our music sounds way better now and I guess the new TV will sound that much better, too.  I love the new speakers.  At least they don’t count as caving on new technology – we need speakers if we want music.

And then there’s the book reader.  Jim received one awhile ago and started downloading and reading books on the reader.  He liked it.  He raved about one of the books and thought I’d really like it.  Problem was, it lived on the reader and there was no point in buying a paper copy.  So I started reading on the book reader.  And now I don’t mind it.  In fact, I think I may read another book Jim has downloaded before I give the unit back to him.

Is this the end for paper books and discrete TVs in our house?  No!  I can’t let it happen! I’ve got a few books lined up to read after I’m done with the book reader and I’m visualizing lounging on the couch, clutching a book and enjoying the heft of it.   As for the TV … well, when I’m in the same room as the big TV I’ll watch that.   I hope I’ll still be content to watch the smaller TVs after that.  I’ll make a point of being content – it would be embarrassing to embrace the big screen after I’ve noisily (and self-righteously, I fear) objected to getting one for so long.

Oh, who am I kidding?  I’ll be eating crow in no time.  But then what’s next?  A smart phone?  A book reader of my own?  A GPS in the car?  I shudder to think.  Is there a Luddite support group I can call?  I think I need help.

Just a little endorsement ...

Jim and I are just finishing up the last of our holidays for this year.  We like to take a week in the fall - it's our favourite time of year. 

This year we decided to check out the Rideau Waterway in eastern Ontario - a series of lakes and locks that make up the navigable waterway between Kingston and Ottawa.  The waterway has closed for the year, so we didn't see anyone on the water or in the locks, but it was impressive and beautiful nonetheless.  There's just something about water that mesmerizes me.

Don't worry - I'm not going to go into a lengthy description of our little getaway. I just want to rave a bit about one of the places we stayed.  It's Millisle B&B in Merrickville, about an hour away from Ottawa. 

Millisle is owned by Debra and Hugh MacLennan.  Debra and Hugh are wonderful hosts and Debra is an extremely talented chef.  I had read reviews that suggested arranging dinner at the B&B instead of going out.  We were belatedly celebrating our anniversary and it sounded like a good idea, and it turned out to be one of our better ideas. 

Debra sent some sample menus ahead of time and we were asked to choose what we wanted - we each had to have the same appetizer and dessert but could have different entrees.  We narrowed the choices for appetizers and dessert down to two each and left it to Debra to decide which would better complement the meals we chose (chicken for me, beef for Jim).  She made the right choices and made us the most wonderful dinner.  I can't say enough about it - it started with an unexpected nibbly in front of the fire while we enjoyed a glass of wine chosen by Hugh and went through three courses of expertly prepared and beautifully presented food.   Hmmm ..."food" just doesn't seem to adequately describe what we had - "gourmet delights" might do it.   We barely restrained ourselves from licking our plates.

And it wasn't just the food - Hugh chose two quite different red wines to go with our meals and his choices were spot on.  We had earlier mentioned that we don't like to spend a fortune on wine, and he came up with mid-priced wines we might just have to add to our wine rack - they were definitely worth the price.  

Breakfast the next morning was better than your average B&B breakfast, and gave us a good start to the day.

Our room was very nice - not large, but it did have a sitting area in the "turret" and a huge bathroom (a nice treat after the miniscule bathroom we had in our room in Perth the previous two nights).  The common areas were lovely as well, and Hugh encouraged us to make use of them - right after we checked in and settled in, he urged us to come down for a (complimentary) glass of wine or beer.  We were joined by the only other guests staying that night, and we spent a lovely hour chatting before heading back to our room to read in our little turret before dinner.

Millisle would be the perfect place for two or three couples to stay and gather for a dinner prepared by Debra and served with such grace by Hugh.  With or without other couples, I'm hoping we can get back there reasonably soon.

And time gallops on

Again, it’s been a long time since my last post.  I mentioned to a friend the other day that the days just slip away, one after the other, and before I know it another week or month or – soon – another year has passed.  There always seems to be something to remind me just how quickly time passes and – sadly – how little I have to show for it.

It is easy to moan about the quick passage of time and the shortening of the days of my life – and believe me, I do moan and whine about it.   But it’s not all bad news.  Just think how quickly special occasions come around, or how quickly bad things pass.  It feels like I book holiday time and – whoosh – the first day of my holiday has arrived.  There are definitely some advantages to this middle aged problem of galloping time.

And speaking of galloping time, it’s almost time for that most wonderful time of the year – and I don’t mean the start of school* (although I have to say that the Staples commercial is one of the best around.  When my son was younger and the beginning of the school year rolled around, it was indeed the most wonderful time of the year).  I mean Christmas, of course – that most wonderful of seasons.   The music, the images, the trees, the lights … it seems to roll around faster every year, and I look forward to it as much as I ever did.  This year is no exception – I’m already thinking about how I’ll decorate the house. 

The music goes on and the decorations come out on Sunday, November 27 this year – the first Sunday of Advent.  I can hardly wait.  But then … the wait is never that long anymore.

* For those unsure of what I’m talking about – there is a television commercial for Staples, an office supply store, in which parents are dancing around the store, collecting school supplies for their sulky children, all to the strains of the Christmas song, It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

A lot to be thankful for

I just looked at the date of my last post and realized that it's been over a month since I added anything.  It's funny ... I've had snippets of things I intended to write running through my head for the last month but I've not taken the time or put in the energy to actually write them down.

What's happened is that I have been doing a lot - and I mean a lot - of writing at work recently.  Way more than usual.  I mean, most of what I do is write, with some occasional organizational stuff thrown in, but lately it's been days on end of writing and re-writing and re-re-writing and then - and perhaps this is the most difficult part - ending up with a finished product that pleases other people but leaves me feeling like there's something missing or that the piece is taking the wrong tone.  It's frustrating.  

There are, of course, lots of issues wrapped up in what's been transpiring - feeling that my work isn't valued, my opinon isn't valued, like I'm running around in circles.  The effect of all that writing is that I'm also feeling like I'm out of words, even for things I want to say. 

It's nice to have a weekend to recharge.  I feel like I'm recovering after only a day away from work. 

It helps, of course, that this is a long weekend and it's one focussed on giving thanks.  Our son is home, we'll be seeing other family and maybe some friends, and I have much to be thankful for.  The crap going on at work doesn't really matter that much.

It's good to change your focus every once in awhile.  I can very easily get caught up in the unimportant, such as the stuff I am doing at work.  That is not to say that what I'm doing at work is of no importance but, in the scheme of things, it's a lot less important than I allowed it to be.  Recently I let it take over how I functioned at home, how I felt about some people and how I felt about myself.  It's really not that big a deal.  That's easy to say now with even just a day's distance, but in middle of all the to-ing and fro-ing and re-writing and the time I took to be resentful it seemed bigger than it was.  Thank goodness for the opportunity to take a step back and refocus.

This weekend is Thanksgiving weekend.  As I already said, I have much to be thankful for - my family (I have to mention that Jim and I just had our 27th anniversary), my wonderful friends, my job (yes, despite my current frustration, I still love my job), my home, the ability to live well.  There's much more, of course, but I don't want to sit here and make a list.  The point is I'm thankful for it all.  It's amazing that I was lucky enough to be born in a time and place where all that is possible. 

May you have as much to be thankful for.

Getting my feet wet – part II

After my last post, I went on to post two additional comments before the discussion pretty much ground to a halt. 

My experience was no different by the end of the experience than part way through – because I offered an opinion contrary to the prevailing opinions on the page, I was the subject of rude, sarcastic, defamatory, nasty comments addressed specifically to me.  There was a lot of self-congratulation and mutual virtual back-slapping going on among the usual contributors to the blog for their superior knowledge and – they didn’t say it this way, but it was certainly intended – for putting me in my place.

However ….. when I looked back at my comments and the little thumbs up and thumbs down icons, I noticed that each of my comments had received more thumbs up than thumbs down, and generally received a good number of thumbs up ratings – more than most of the other posts received.  It appears that there were readers of the blog who agreed with me but preferred not to post comments.  It gave me a bit of a warm feeling, knowing that there were others who supported my position.  I wasn’t alone (although it would have been nice to have a little back up).

So what have I learned?  Well, I’ve learned that you have to have a tough skin if you are going to go against the prevailing wisdom on a blog.  One of the comments I received on my own blog was that many people seem to use their blogs and posts as their soapbox and are interested only in hearing from people who agree with them.  I guess it makes sense, but I would have thought a good discussion – done politely – would be more interesting.

I also learned that even though people are silent, they are still watching and will quietly provide their support with a thumb up.  It’s nice to know, although a little creepy that, out there in the blogosphere, people can watch and you don’t even know they are there. 

I also learned that there is a real blogging community, and people in it take it very seriously. 

Nothing that happened will deter me from getting more into checking out other blogs and participating.  It was kind of fun, actually, being the fly in the ointment and changing the direction of the discussion.  I didn’t do just for amusement value – my comments were made in all seriousness and as an attempt to provide a different side of the story.  Yet it did become a source of amusement.  That was a nice by-product.

I've gotten my feet wet; now I'll jump right in

I’ve been going through a very interesting exercise over the last few days, and it may change how I view social media and how I participate in it.

I was made aware of a blog post that had to do with the industry in which I work, and there were a number of comments made that I felt were misleading, misguided and self-serving.  I decided to post a comment myself, anonymously (because what I said may be seen to conflict with the work I do), and see what happened.  My comment was one of two that didn’t agree with the original opinion expressed.  What happened was interesting. 

In my comment, I offered a lengthy, fairly detailed explanation of why I thought the blogger – and those supporting his opinion – needed to look at things differently.   I was not rude; I was not unkind.  At worst, I was blunt. 

It didn’t take long before there was a comment on my comment – it came from someone I’ll call Commenter #1.  Commenter #1 was condescending  –  he or she pretty much said that I should run along and bother someone else – my comments weren’t valuable or valid. 

I couldn’t help myself – I replied, and offered a fuller explanation of where I was coming from and what my experience had been.  I also said that some of his or her arguments didn’t hold water because they were irrelevant to the topic and the conversation.   Again, I wasn’t rude, I wasn’t unkind and I most certainly wasn’t condescending.  Okay, I was blunt.

Then there were three comments to mine.  The first was actually reasoned and articulate and appropriate.  I appreciated that.  I still didn’t agree with what he/she said, but whoever it was presented his or her case very civilly.  The second response was less reasoned and appropriate – the writer suggested I was lying, that I was uninformed and that until I knew what I was talking about I shouldn’t be making any comments.  I should mention that I know more about the subject than I was letting on.

And then there was a response from Commenter #1.  He or she was condescending in the first message; they were downright rude and insulting in the second.  Suggested that I was totally wrong, I was lying and I had no credibility whatsoever.  Hmm. Really? 

And I couldn’t help myself – I posted another comment to respond to the last three comments, noting my appreciation for the first, and then explaining to Commenter #1 in detail why my credibility was just fine, thank you very much.

So … I am now waiting to see if there is any further response.  I’m not sure if I’m getting tired of this game or not.  It’s not like I’m invested in this particular issue – I just thought it was interesting.  I wanted to be part of the blogging community beyond writing my own little blog.  And for my efforts I was called a liar and told to run along home.

Part of what is so interesting is how the anonymity of the blogging process – no one used their names, just initials or descriptors – can take away people’s desire to filter what they say.  I doubt that some of the comments that were made to me would have been made to my face; they probably would have been worded differently if we were all identifying ourselves. 

Once I started thinking in that vein, I wondered how much I filter – or don’t filter – what I say in my own blog.  There are friends who read my comments and they know me – they know if what I’m saying is true to who I really am.  So I obviously filter a few things.  What would I say, though, if this was totally anonymous and I just wanted to blow off steam? 

It’s been a fun experience to contribute to someone else’s blog.  I’m glad I resisted getting angry or hurt by what others wrote to me in their comments – and there is no mistaking that they were writing “to” me – because I can see where that would lead to saying things that are hurtful in response.   

Up until now I’ve been afraid – for what reason I don’t know – to participate in other people’s blogs; I believe that now I’ve gotten my feet wet, I’m ready to jump in further.  I have identified some blogs I find interesting, and I think I’ll feel freer to comment – good or bad – and see where it leads.